We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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