Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
