finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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