I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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