so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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