I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
