and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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