How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
