I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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