you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
