Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
