There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
