Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
