its not stalking. its research.
Barsexuality is the new black.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
