Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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