White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
