lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
