so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
