Pants 0. Shit 1.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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