she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
