dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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