well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize