he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She bit a glass in half.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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