The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
