tell your sister to shave her snatch
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
