Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
