We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Randomize
