i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
