come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You have to summon your inner elephant
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
