We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Sober January is a disaster.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
