It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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