im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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