I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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