there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
