don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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