It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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