saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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