There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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