What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
