you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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