The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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