Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
