Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
