i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You're like the curious george of whores
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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