I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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