Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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