I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
