our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
