your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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