Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
