No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
