I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
