dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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