he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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