Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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