Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
