If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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