No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
