nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
