Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He better not be in your backpack
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
