just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
